I’ve just come back from a wonderful Easter retreat at St Beuno’s. Whilst I was away I didn’t blog or use social media so I hope to catch up this week and to share some of my reflections and thoughts from the retreat. Today I’m starting with some pictures I took whilst I was there.
St Beuno’s
Gardens
Gardens
Views from a walk
Views from St Beuno’s
Views from a walk
Views from a walk
A Travelling Prayer Space
A cross I found in the grounds
A cross I found in the grounds
The Rock Chapel is a short walk from St Beuno’s and a beautiful place to pray:
Since I came back from Holy Island I’ve been based at home and enjoying finding God’s sabbatical pace here with Tara and Jethro. Lots of what I have done have been the normal things of life that I don’t get to do when I’m busy with Circuit life; things like taking Jethro to his swimming lesson, going to the library, tidying the garage, doing the garden.
Alongside these things we have done two things that have spoken to me of God.
1 Yesterday we had a Sunday together as a family. We worshipped at Hillsong Newcastle, a Church our friends Phil and Susan are part of with their children. After Church we went to Pizza Hut, it was great to not be pressured by visits to do and an evening service to be back for.
The service at Hilsong was good but a very different worship experience and Jethro’s face told us it was very loud! I shared in ‘kids church’ with Jethro where we learnt about the Holy Spirit and had lots of fun … and rice cakes.
Whilst the service was very different to what I am use to, one of the things that really came across was a real authenticity in the worship that was being offered to God (through those who were leading) and a strong invitation to participate in that. It was said from the front that what was offered was to point to God and not to point to the Church or those on the stage, the service showed this in its actions as well as its words. This authentic offering to God was a reminder of the image of the cross on St Cuthbert’s Island last week, that in all I do I should look upwards to God. I have no doubt that if the worship in all Churches was as authentic as Hillsong we wouldn’t have so many Churches that feel half empty … or more.
2 Today, Jethro and I went on an adventure! We went to Allen Banks and Starward Gorge for a walk, scoot and picnic. It was great fun, Jethro really enjoyed being outside, finding dens, having a picnic on the beach and been shown a dead mole the mole catcher had caught! As we were walking I tried consciously to look for God, where was God on our adventure, what did God have to say to me?
The walk at Allen Banks takes you along the riverside in a wood, the path has ups and downs and the river turns and twists. As we were walking along I was struck by the beauty of God’s creation that surrounded us but I was particularly struck by the fact that God’s creation isn’t still, the wind blew the leaves on the trees, the water flowed in the river, the clouds moved in the sky. It was a place of peace, a place of stillness but it wasn’t still in the sense that nothing was happening.
As we walked I also kept getting these two lines from the song opposite in my head: Through the sun, through the rain You never change These lines reminded me of the presence of God in all things, the God who as the writer to the Hebrews puts it is:
the same yesterday, today and forever.
Hebrews 13:8
When the sun is bright, when the sky is blue When it’s all alright, I will praise You When life seems to go like I want it to Things are as I’d hoped, I will praise You Through the sun, through the rain You never change You are so worthy I’ll lift Your name And no matter what I’m going through I will praise You When it’s raining hard, when it’s all gone wrong I’ll still sing this song, I will praise You When I’ve been promised things that aren’t happening And I’m still waiting, I will praise You I will, I will, I will praise You I will, I will, I will praise You
I will praise you, no matter what. Jodie Frye.
Through these reflections I was felt profoundly moved that the God who is the same yesterday, today and forever is a God who is on the move, whose Spirit stirs us just like the river, the clouds and the trees. Sometimes that action is fast like the river was flowing today, sometimes that action is gentle like a breeze, sometimes that action is without a noise like the clouds. But God is a God of activity, a God of movement, a God who is at work in the world bringing his Kingdom in amongst us.
I think we sometimes think that if something is the same it never changes, but today I realised afresh that the very nature of God is to be on the move; as the Spirit was in creation, as God was when he parted the Red Sea, as Jesus was when he stepped out of heaven into the world, as the Spirit was when it came in power on the Church in Acts 2. For God not to change is for God to be on the move, to keep revealing God’s love to us, to keep shaping us, speaking to us, inviting us to join in with what God is doing. If God stopped been on the move, God would stop being the same yesterday, today and forever – it would be like the river stopping flowing.
As I walk with God on this sabbatical I am reminded from today’s adventure that I’m not walking with a God who is asking me to sit down in a chair and not move for three months, but a God who is inviting me to look to God and to move with God in lots of different ways; retreat, silence, activity, fun, reading, play, sleep! Finding God’s pace is not about stopping but about watching for where God is moving and how God is moving.
My book count is now up to three and I’ve really enjoyed these three books that I’ve read so far:
I was intending to blog yesterday evening but unfortunately an unexpected migraine wiped me out from about 7pm, so I missed the chance to walk round the Island in the evening stillness and to blog 🙁 Thankfully I woke up today feeling much better.
It was great to be in Holy Island all day yesterday and to real feel like I began to rest, the sense of wanting to do everything immediately wasn’t there and I really enjoyed both of the books I began to read, finishing the first today.
James, a friend and colleague who is also on sabbatical at the moment blogged last week about making spaces intentional. I read James’ blog over the weekend so decide to grab a few items from my office at Church to use to make an intentional space, a sacred space in the different places I will be during sabbatical. Yesterday I spent sometime thinking about which items I wanted in my sacred space and choose this cross, the candle holder, my Bible and Prayer Book. Yesterday and today I spent time in prayer and reading the Bible in this space and the items enabled it to be more sacred and my prayers more rich.
As I have returned home today I want to continue a daily time of prayer and reflection in this sacred space and to reflect on what that space means. I’ve begun reading 1 Samuel and Acts which I have felt led to go back to during this early part of the sabbatical. My thinking theme for sabbatical is around rules/ways/rhythms of (Christian) life and I hope this space, these prayers and the scriptures will shape and hold my thinking in this area.
Another joy of yesterday was to share part of the day with Phil, another friend and colleague who is also on sabbatical and part of a group I retreat with regularly. It was good to walk, to talk and to share how first sabbaticals feel a few days in.
Phil is focussing on photography and we spent some time taking pictures together and sharing how they spoke to us of scripture and faith.
I particularly like these photos I took of St Cuthbert’s Island, the cross stands prominently above everything else and even when the tide is in it can still be seen. It reminded me that Jesus stands above everything no matter what tides, seas or waves we face – not that I feel like I’m facing any of those particularly at the moment but like anyone I have at different times in the past. It spoke to me that through all I do on sabbatical whether I’m on a focussed retreat, at home with my precious family, reading a book, cooking tea – I must keep lifting my eyes to God, to see what Jesus has to offer into the situation, to watch for the Spirit moving. If I keep lifting my eyes then I will see more of the sacred, move of the divine and be blessed.
Today in true Northumberland style it rained! So I moved from coffee shop to coffee shop, enjoying the warmth inside and two good books I’m reading. I then drove home and was able to pick Jethro up from nursery which was great. I’m returning to Holy Island at the end of my sabbatical and it will be good to be able to look back and see what God has done between my two visits.
The next few days I’m at home, spending time with Jethro and Tara and doing some house/life jobs, as I do I’ll keep lifting my eyes and seeing what God offers into whatever I’m doing.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm — he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
I always knew that it wouldn’t be until I got to Holy Island today that I would really believe the sabbatical had started. As Tara and I made plans for this time we knew it would be important for me to do something to mark the beginning and coming to Holy Island felt the right way to do that.
The Causeway onto Holy Island
Lindisfarne Castle (top) and a view of the bay from the view point (bottom).
After I’d arrived I went for a walk as my accommodation wasn’t ready till later. As I walked and ate my sandwiches I was overwhelmed by all the things I could do and in some ways wanted to do, all the things that have been in my head to do as I’ve planned the sabbatical. I wanted to read, to pray, to be still, to take pictures and to do them all at once. I quickly realised, what I probably knew in my head, that what I need to do is to settle down into God’s pace, to set down the active ministry pace which is about doing/ticking off the list and to find God’s pace for this time.
Later in the afternoon I was out walking again and was really struck by this pile of hay bales. Through them God really spoke to me of all the plans that Tara and I have made for sabbatical, which are in true Goodall style neatly stacked like each of the bales. Through the image God spoke to me of the plans being good, but that I don’t need to take them off the pile and unwrap them all at once, I can take them and enjoy them one by one when the time is right, God’s time and at God’s pace. Just round the corner I saw the pilgrim’s way poles, uncrossable because the tide was still going out, they spoke to me of taking things one step at a time and not trying to do everything at once.
The Hay Bales that God spoke to me through (top) and the Pilgrim Way Poles (middle and bottom).
Alongside my walking and thinking I’ve enjoyed starting a book, some colouring, taking photos, the peace of the Island, evening prayers at St Mary’s Church and Compline with the Community of Aidan and Hilda. I also treated myself to Coffee and Scone (a real treat as I’ve given up snacks between meals for Lent).
I’ve been telling everyone that I’m staying in a shed on Holy Island. It is in fact a great cabin in a garden which I’m really enjoying. You can find it on Air BnB.
This morning I preached at Hexham Trinity on Life & Faith: Rest and shared with the congregation some of what we will be doing on sabbatical. You can read my sermon here (the audio will be there soon). This evening along with my colleague Paul we led a healing service, it was a very beautiful service where God was very present amongst us. It was wonderful to preside at Holy Communion, which is something I will miss very much whilst on sabbatical, as it is so central to who I am as a presbyter.
Today was my last Sunday of active ministry before my sabbatical starts tomorrow. It felt odd in many ways, I wasn’t saying goodbye to folk forever – I will be back on July, I love and am excited about my ministry in Hexham! Yet to begin the sabbatical I needed to set down my responsibilities here, to entrust them to others (which I do willingly and happily) and it was good to do that today. One of things that made setting things down easy is knowing that I will be coming back.
Now I have changed my voicemails, put on my email autoresponse and just about finished my packing to go to Holy Island.
It’s so good to have got to sabbatical, I am really grateful I have finished well this week and today and can’t wait for all that God has in store for us during these coming three months.
